


I'm Always Here for You

by SleepDeprivedIdiot__xoxo



Series: Tales of Haikyuu [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Comfort, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:21:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27948203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepDeprivedIdiot__xoxo/pseuds/SleepDeprivedIdiot__xoxo
Summary: Hinata was the light that pierced through Kenma's darkest days. He was Kenma's reprieve from the suffocating sadness inside of him. And while Kenma and Hinata might live hours away from each other, he knew that Hinata, the boisterous and bright Hinata, would always be there for him. No matter the distance or space between.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma
Series: Tales of Haikyuu [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2023691
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36





	I'm Always Here for You

For some people, the hardest part of the day was getting up in the morning. For others, it might have been staying awake at work or school. Other people could struggle with finding time in the day to take a break and do what they love. But for Kenma, the hardest part of the day was making it to tomorrow. Some days were easier than others, but some days he wanted to just disappear. To just lay down and sleep, never to wake up again. 

“What do you have to be depressed about? Your life is so great!” 

“Cheer up! It’s all in your head!” 

“There are people who have it a lot worse than you do, you should be grateful.” 

He knew it was all true, and he knew that they were just trying to help. Yes, his life was great. He had a loving family, loyal friends, and an amazing boyfriend. Yes, it was all in his head. Depression wasn’t like a broken leg or a flu, it was an imbalance of chemicals in the mind. It wasn’t something anyone could see or touch, it was only something that he could feel. And, yes, there were a lot of people who had it worse than him. But did that make his pain any less valid? Any less nauseating? Did any of these things mean that what he was feeling wasn’t incredibly real and incredibly scary? 

If anything, it made it even worse, knowing that all these things were true but still wishing he could make all of it stop and go away. It added a crushing guilt onto the already unbearable sadness inside of him, and it all created a never-ending and absolutely suffocating loneliness in his heart. 

Today was one of his harder days. As soon as he woke up, there was a piercing hurt in his chest that just wouldn’t go away. It felt like someone had run him through with a rusty dagger and had left it in there. The littlest things would twist and jerk it around to intensify the already heartbreaking pain. But, like he had learned to do so very, very long ago, he faced the day with a smile to mask the storm inside of him. 

“Fuck it, I quit!” Yamamoto exclaimed as he threw his pencil onto his math textbook. 

“Same,” Tanaka agreed, doing just the same. “This is impossible, since when did math involve more letters than numbers?” 

“Since some old dude a hundred years ago decided that it would be fun to fuck us in the ass,” Nishinoya absent-mindedly commented as he scratched out yet another failed attempt to answer the same question that he had been working on for the last 20 minutes. 

“Language!” Ennoshita scolded, a scowl on his face and his arms folded across his chest. 

“Did you just “language” us?” Yamamoto, Tanaka, and Nishinoya stared in shock at the boy and glanced at each other before breaking out into wild laughter. Kageyama barely registered the sudden outburst as he furrowed his eyebrows and glared down at his math textbook.

“Sorry, sir, Captain America, sir,” Yamamoto gasped out, clutching his stomach and falling onto his back. Kenma gave a small smirk at the boys’ banter and laughter, Kenma’s own math textbook and unstarted homework sitting in front of him in the grass. 

Karasuno had started their spring break, and as a last minute treat, their coach had arranged the team to visit Tokyo to practice with Nekoma and Fukurodani. Today they were playing Nekoma at the Nekoma high school.

Yamamoto, Nishinoya, Tanaka, Hinata, Kageyama, and Kenma were sitting on a hill just behind the Nekoma school’s gym. The libero, genius setter, middle blocker, and two wing spikers were getting tutored by Ennoshita at the request of both Daichi and Kuroo, and Hinata wanted Kenma there to “make math more bearable”. Not that Kenma minded as playing volleyball was the last thing he wanted to do in that moment. Plus, it had been a while since he got to see Hinata in person, and Kenma wanted to capitalize on that rare opportunity as much as he could even while feeling the way he did. 

Unfortunately for Yamamoto and the two Karasuno players, their respective volleyball captains refused to let their idiot ace cards play in the day’s practice match until they finished their homework and got at least 90% of the questions correct, much to the idiots’ dismay. But it was either that or risk them failing their finals and not being able to play in their club sports at all. 

“I didn’t know you were Japanese, Cap’,” Tanaka said when his fit of laughter calmed down into a light chuckle. 

Kenma gazed at his boyfriend’s face, taking in the curve of his smile and the brightness in his eyes, and desperately wished he could laugh like Hinata could. Feel as happy as he felt. To love life as much as he did. And the longing inside of Kenma caused a sharp pang of hurt to shoot through his already breaking heart. 

“Just move onto the next question,” Ennoshita demanded with an exasperated sigh. “I’d like to play a little before we have to go home, and I think Kenma would rather not spend his entire afternoon doing homework with you guys.” When Ennoshita referenced Kenma, he looked towards the setter’s way and quirked an eyebrow, his expression asking  _ “right?” _ . 

“Right,” Kenma slowly said before looking at Hinata. Giving as best a smile as he could, Kenma continued, “I’m kinda tired.”  _ No, I’m exhausted. _

“Oh, if you’re tired, you should take a nap,” Hinata commented as he turned to you, a soft smile on his lips and a deep affection in his eyes. “We can hang out later, yeah?” 

“It’s okay,” Kenma replied with a small smile. “I wanna make sure you get your homework done too. Plus, you came all the way here from Miyagi. I don’t wanna be rude.” Hinata hunched his shoulders, puffed out his cheeks, and scrunched up his face, making Kenma smirk and the heaviness in his heart lift for just a fraction of a second. Hinata leaned forwards and glanced at his boyfriend’s homework, then looked at Kenma with furrowed eyebrows.

“How come you haven’t started yet?” 

“I was gonna do it when I get home.”  _ Liar _ .

“Why not just do it now and get it over with?”  _ What’s the point? _

“Not really in the mood to do homework.”  _ God, I’m pathetic _ . 

“Are you feeling okay?”  _ No. _

“Yeah, just tired.” _ So very, very tired _ . 

Hinata stared intently at Kenma, and the setter shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. Suddenly, Tanaka slammed his textbook shut and crossed his arms frustratedly across his chest. 

“I’m done. I can’t do this anymore, I’d rather just not play,” Tanaka declared with a determined nod. 

“Same,” Kageyama seconded. 

“Yep,” Yamamoto agreed. Ennoshita gave a grand and exasperated sigh. 

“Then I guess you guys don’t mind not playing in the prelims or nationals too then?” Ennoshita asked with a smirk and a quirked eyebrow. 

“Wait, what?” The three boys replied in shock and concern at the same time. Their eyes were wide and mouths hung slightly agape. 

“I thought it would be a temporary suspension?” Tanaka whispered in horror. Giving a devilish smirk, Ennoshita responded. 

“No way, it would be a permanent ban. Then you wouldn’t be able to play at Nationals.” A pause for dramatic effect, then, “Maybe he’ll put  _ me _ in and I can play as a starter in your position.” 

“Fucking hell you will!” Tanaka exclaimed as he threw his book back open and started furiously scribbling away at his homework. Kageyama quietly did the same and Yamamoto followed in suit, not wanting to be banned from playing, but also not wanting to fall behind his life-long rival.

“Cap’, Ryuu said a bad “language” word,” Nishinoya teased, making Ennoshita throw the smirking libero a glare. Tanaka and Yamamoto were too focused on not failing to even react. 

“Alright, alright, enough with the Captain America stuff, just do your work.” Kenma looked on fondly at the boys, suddenly feeling so lonely and left out because of the stark contrast between their light and the dark inside of him. Unbeknownst to him, Hinata’s eyes had been focused slowly on Kenma the whole while.

“I think I'm done for today,” Hinata commented, closing his book. 

Both Ennoshita and Kenma stared in shock at the redhead as he quickly packed up both Kenma’s and his belongings, slung his backpack on his back and put Kenma’s on his front. Hinata quickly stood up, holding his hand out to Kenma. The setter hesitantly took it, and Hinata pulled him up and smiled brightly before turning to a confused and shocked Ennoshita. 

“I promise I’ll finish my homework later. And I’ll be sure to study extra hard for our finals.” Then, Hinata turned to Kenma, gave a soft smile, lightly tugged his arm, and said, “Come, come, I wanna show you this place I found.” 

“Okay?” Kenma slowly replied as Hinata all but dragged him away from a stunned Ennoshita and a fiercely concentrating Tanaka, Yamamoto, and Kageyama. 

Hinata quickly pulled Kenma out of the Nekoma school gates and down the sidewalk, glancing back at the setter now and then to flash him his bright and wondrous smile. 

“Where are we going?” Kenma asked, trying to keep up with his boyfriend. Hinata slowed his pace until he and Kenma were walking side by side. He gave Kenma a soft smile. 

“I figured you weren’t having a super great day, so I wanted to try and cheer you up a little.” Kenma’s heart dropped at his answer. He knew he should’ve been grateful that he had such an attentive and caring partner in Hinata. Kenma knew he should’ve felt love and comfort at Hinata’s actions. But all Kenma felt was a deep-seated, crushing guilt. Stopping in his tracks, Kenma gave a deep frown. 

“You don’t have to do that for me, Shoyo, I’m fine, really. You should do your homework so you can just relax for the rest of the night,” Kenma said, smiling through the pain in his heart. 

“But I  _ want _ to do this for you. I want you to feel better, even if it’s just a little,” Hinata replied with a smile as he took Kenma’s hand in his. But Kenma didn’t budge. 

“I don’t wanna be a burden.” The words came out before Kenma even knew what he were saying. Kenma’s body tensed for what he was sure would be an annoyed, exasperated, and invalidating response like everyone would always give whenever he felt that way.  _ “How could you say that? You’re not a burden.” “Why would you think that?” “Cheer up! You’re never a burden!”  _

“If you’re a burden then I’m a math prodigy.” Kenma’s eyes widened in shock at the completely unexpected response, and Hinata stared intently at him. “And am I a math prodigy?” 

Kenma stayed silent a moment, still trying to process what Hinata had said. 

“No…” Hinata broke out into his signature, contagious smile. 

“Then, are you a burden?” Suddenly realizing what he was getting at, Kenma felt a spark of comfort and warmth in his heart that seemed foreign after having been absent all this time. 

“No,” Kenma replied with a small smile. As the word came out of his mouth, he felt that guilt sitting on his chest lighten just a bit, and he realized that maybe, just maybe, Hinata was right. Hinata gave a triumphant nod of his head and a satisfied smile before starting to tug Kenma down the sidewalk once more. 

“I found this place while on a jog last night,” Hinata started, glancing back briefly at Kenma. “I think you’ll really like it.”

Hinata chatted animatedly the whole way, and Kenma listened on with a smile on his lips and a warmness growing inside of him. Hinata exuded an aura of hope and happiness that surrounded Kenma’s heart in a cocoon, keeping it safe and secure against the demons in his mind. And Hinata’s words comforted him in ways that he couldn’t even begin to describe. Eventually, Kenma found himself being led into the local park.

It was a rather popular date spot, and Kenma and Hinata had visited once the last time Hinata was in Tokyo. But, this time, Hinata was leading the setter into the back of the park that he had never ventured to before. Hinata weaved his way through a small forest of trees, never letting Kenma’s hand go, and when the boys stepped out of the trees, Kenma felt like he had just walked into a scene from a movie. 

“Do you like it?” Hinata asked, turning to Kenma and smiling brightly.

But Kenma’s attention was focused on the beautiful and perfect clearing filled to the brim with daisies. Their white petals shimmered in the sunlight and created a feeling around them that seemed like they had just been pulled from a dream. Their centers were the brightest shade of yellow Kenma had ever seen, and the grass growing all around looked as if it was inviting him to lay down and rest his weary soul. A gentle breeze passed over the field of flowers, and everything danced in perfect harmony with one another. 

“It’s beautiful,” Kenma breathed, looking at his smiling boyfriend. “How did you find this place?” 

“It’s a secret,” Hinata playfully replied, holding up a finger to his lips and giving Kenma a smile. 

Kenma smiled softly at Hinata’s ridiculousness, and Hinata let Kenma’s and his backpacks drop to the ground before he pulled Kenma into the field, laughing with child-like abandon. Kenma followed him into the center of the flowers, and Hinata grabbed both of Kenma’s hands and started twirling the flustered setter around until Kenma’s world looked like a whirlwind of daisies. 

Suddenly, Hinata snaked his arms around Kenma’s waist in an uncharacteristically daring and suave movement, pulled Kenma’s back flush against his chest, and hugged him tightly. Slowly, a smile broke out onto Kenma’s lips, and he started to laugh. He started to really, truly started to laugh for the first time in what had seemed like an eternity. 

Hinata’s light pierced the dark clouds that filled Kenma’s heart and mind. They were still there, no doubt, but in that moment where it was just him and Hinata, everything felt okay. Everything felt...normal. And normal was the most wonderful feeling in the world to Kenma when he thought that he would never feel normal ever again. 

The two boys spent the rest of the day amongst the flowers until the sun started to set. Hinata ran wildly about, jumping and putting on a rather theatrical show for the reserved Kenma. Kenma would laugh and compliment Hinata whenever the redhead would pull off an impressive cartwheel. After a while, when Hinata’s boundless energy finally ran out, Kenma and Hinata plopped themselves down in the center of the field and just talked. 

“I hope Daichi-san isn’t too mad,” Hinata laughed as he fiddled with daisies and grass in his hands. He and Kenma were sitting back to back, leaning against each and holding each other up. 

“Oh, I’m sure he is,” Kenma replied with a smirk, also fiddling with flowers and grass in his hands. “Just don’t fail your finals and all will be forgiven.” 

“I might never be forgiven then,” Hinata laughed, throwing his head back and bumping it against Kenma’s. “Oops, sorry.” 

“It’s fine,” Kenma chuckled, concentrating on the intricate knot of flowers and grass in his hands. “I have a pretty hard head.” 

“That makes two of us.” Hinata laughed at his own comment, making Kenma smirk. 

A moment later, a silence settled between the two boys that was only broken with a tiny, almost inaudible whisper from Hinata. 

“I love you too,” Kenma muttered in response, a warmness blooming onto his cheeks and ears.

He felt Hinata sit up, and he turned his head around to see Hinata already facing him, an ecstatic grin on his lips and a beautiful twinkle in his eyes. Hinata quickly and awkwardly leaned forwards and pecked Kenma’s lips before pulling back, his face as red and bright as his hair. 

Clearing his throat and looking bashfully away, Hinata held up a rather masterfully crafted crown of daisies. “Here, for you.” 

Kenma turned to face him properly, and smiled when he gently placed the crown on his head and leaned back to marvel at him. Then, Kenma held up his own crown and gave an approving nod before placing it on Hinata’s head. 

“And this is for you,” Kenma said as he placed it on Hinata’s head. The two boys sat in a comfortable silence for a moment, just gazing at each other and letting the whole world melt away until it was just the two of them and their flower crowns. When the moment passed, Hinata shifted until he was sitting on his knees, his hands resting on his lap and a resolute but soft look in his eyes. 

“I don’t really understand what you’re going through,” Hinata started slowly, quirking his lips to the side and furrowing his eyebrows in deep concentration. “And I know that this isn’t gonna fix anything.” A pause. “But I need you to know that I’m always gonna be here for you. Always. No matter what.” 

Kenma sat in stunned silence at the wildly uncharacteristic and insightful comment from the normally boisterous and impulsive boy. But as he gazed at Hinata’s loving and warm smile, Kenma repeated the words over and over in his head until he was sure they would be forever ingrained in his mind, heart, and soul. 

Hinata was right. They wouldn’t fix anything. Kenma would still have his good days and his bad days. He would still wake up sometimes wishing that he never had to get out of bed. But whenever he had those bad days, he would replay those words and hold onto the care and love that Hinata had for him. And those words and that boy would be the cornerstone Kenma would hold onto no matter how bad his bad days would get.    
  



End file.
